


Loneliness Loves Its Company

by Jensei (Slappy0Pappy)



Category: FFIX, Final Fantasy 9, Final Fantasy IX, ff9
Genre: Canon Compliant, Dagger is sad and Zidane is her comfort, During Canon, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Indulgent, Sharing a Bed, Starts out sad but then its just shameless fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:29:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27891559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slappy0Pappy/pseuds/Jensei
Summary: When lost in the despair of one’s own thoughts, sometimes all you need is a friend.
Relationships: (eiko & freya friendships are mentioned and not a focus), Garnet Til Alexandros XVII & Eiko Carol, Garnet Til Alexandros XVII & Freya Crescent, Garnet Til Alexandros XVII/Zidane Tribal
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	Loneliness Loves Its Company

“DAAAAAgger!” a shrill voice squeaked out. “You look redder than a hedgehog pie!!” Garnet's eyes snapped open as Eiko trotted over to stare her down. “Did you fall asleep again? Yeeeeesh you need to stop doing that! The sun’s frying you up like a fish Chimomo caught for dinner!” Tiny fists found their place on hips as Eiko pouted at the Princess. “That’s enough sun for you today ma’am! Just be glad it was me telling you and not 'ole Rusty!” The diminutive Summoner gave the Princess a squinty-eyed stare as she shooed her down below the decks. Eiko was young, but she had quickly learned from the harsh sun above Madain Sari that it was best to avoid the unforgiving rays.

Dagger gave her an appreciative nod and a solemn smile as she quietly meandered off to her chambers. Eiko returned the acknowledgement with a triumphant puff of her chest, then carried on with her business as usual. The Princess was always thankful Eiko was watching out for her. As she headed below deck, Garnet took off her gloves and lifted a finger to her cheek. She could feel the warmth that radiated from her irritated skin. Her face was most definitely sunburnt. With a complexion as fair as hers it was no surprise she had become roasted royalty. A touch of white magic could help soothe the sunburn -- if she could even concentrate enough to summon a single spark. Still, she was careless to have drifted off underneath the scorching sunshine like that. During their short time on the Blue Narciss so far, Garnet had managed to find herself in that situation several times. What a dreadful habit to form.

Disassociation had become her anesthetic. She had become numb to so much after the past few weeks. It was out of necessity, out of self-preservation. There was no other way for her to carry on. The thoughts of her kingdom were too painful -- anytime her mind wandered to Alexandria and her people, Garnet felt tremendous waves of guilt crash over her. She had been ready to ascend to the throne, to bear the hefty burden of rulership -- or so she had thought. An ignorant and naive child was all that she really was. Alexandria deserved more. They deserved a competent ruler that could protect the kingdom. Someone that would not let harm come to them. That person was not her. She had failed her kingdom, failed her people, failed everyone. Try as she may, no words could be uttered by her.

Overwhelming remorse and heartache asphyxiated the Princess. All she could do was choke on the regrets she harbored. Words would do her no good anyway. By not feeling she could allow the thoughts to drift off from her consciousness, carried into the sea with the ship’s wake. So, she would sit in solitude by the vessel’s stern and let all troubles wash away elsewhere. Keeping track of time was impossible for her while in such a state. The first instance she had done it, the sun was high in the sky at the start. Only when there were pinkish hues awash with brilliant streaks of orange coloring the horizon did Freya delicately rest a hand on Garnet’s shoulder to sever her from her disconnect. “It’s time for supper.” The Dragon Knight kept her voice quiet when addressing the Princess; a soft tone to keep from breaking her fragile friend.

Garnet understood the gentleness everyone used around her, but it didn’t stop the dull ache she felt from it. All her companions gave her such a wide berth. It was a bittersweet thing. The sentiment showed they respected her feelings and grasped how heavily recent events weighed on her mind. However, it was still a very lonely thing to go through. At times she craved conversation but knew there wasn’t a point. How could she engage with them when she had nothing to say? Their gestures were appreciated when they happened, but she hated to drag them down with her selfish troubles. There were larger things at stake. No time could be wasted worrying about her emotional turmoil. These were her mistakes, not theirs. They all had their own things to sort out too -- she couldn’t possibly pile on hers.

Anytime her mind wasn’t disengaged from reality she simply sat and dealt with the solitude, even if it meant being consumed by it. What other choice did she have, what other options were there? How could she express such things to them? Any words she tried to utter she would choke upon. Any sound she made would falter before even leaving her lips. She could not cry out for the company she craved, only cry silently in seclusion with tears stinging her eyes. This was another reason she feared being below deck. Up top, she could bathe in the warmth of the sun overhead and drift off with the waves to escape herself. Every night, when all had retreated to their cabins for respite she would find none. Instead she’d curl up by herself and weep ‘til exhausted, for she had no distractions to ease herself into sleep.

It was the Captain’s cabin that was assigned to the Princess as her private chambers. Steiner was very adamant that she had the whole area to herself, especially after Zidane jokingly suggested he keep her company. The dutiful knight was so perturbed that he proclaimed -- whilst pinching his fingers together -- that he was, “THIS CLOSE “ to kicking the “dirty scoundrel” off deck. Truthfully, Dagger would have preferred sharing a room with someone. Anyone. Even the ever distant Amarant. But alas, she had no voice to argue with and didn’t have the heart to attempt communicating her desires.

Each night she dreaded retiring to the cabin, where the room seemed too vast, her bed claustrophobic, the air too still and unwelcoming. The space was a vacuum, devoid of any distractions to numb her anxious mind. Only when urged to try and sleep by her friends would she venture into that empty room that she loathed. Mindlessly, she would shrug off her jumpsuit and slip into her nightdress, braid her hair, then climb into bed and bury herself under a sea of covers. The cabin’s eerie calm would invite troubling thoughts into her mind, eroding her composure away until she was reduced to tears. Soundless sobs would wrack her body as she’d curl up, giving in to the void in her heart. Only when exhaustion overcame her could peace be found, sleep claiming her and granting some respite from her struggles.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A muffled _knock knock knock_ roused her from her fitful rest. Eyes blinked and squinted while she attempted to gather her bearings. She could feel the vague sting left by the tears she had wept before sleeping. She blinked harder. The blurriness subsided and her gaze fell to where the commotion came from. The knocking happened again, but was followed by an uncertain, “Dagger…?” It was Zidane. Knowing him, if she didn’t acknowledge his knocking he’d persist.

 _‘_ _What could he need? And what time is it? How long have I been asleep?’_ The view outside the portholes revealed that the setting sun was just beginning to color the sky with warmth. Feet swung over the edge of the bed as she began to shuffle towards the door. Another knock knock sounded off followed by a “Hey, I’m coming in!” -- while the door swung open. Sometimes he was absolutely daft. “Oh, hey, Dagger, you’re up! I wanted to--” he stopped mid-sentence, noticing the mortified expression she wore. His brow furrowed slightly as he tried to process why she looked that way. “What? Something on my face? Got sauce on my vest or som-” his words were abruptly cut off when he took note of her nightgown and the sheer material with which it was stitched. Without thought he gave her a quick once over.

During their time together he had grown used to the sight of her. Long dark hair that contrasted sharply against the bright orange of her jumpsuit. Her melancholy smile and the way she knitted her brow when focusing on a spell. The soft hum of her voice when absentmindedly singing her song. How appealing her curves were… Okay, so yes, he had secretly gawked at her on more than one occasion. He couldn’t help himself! She was gorgeous. All their time spent together hadn’t prepared him for this sight though.

A knee-length dress of soft white cotton with delicate trimming was all she wore. The fabric was light and flowy, draping off her body in elegant cascades that ended in lace borders. Her braid spilled down her front, the rich dark chocolate hue a stark opposition to the alabaster of her skin and the intricate white filigree that lay flush with her chest. Dagger always looked breathtakingly beautiful adorned in white. He was reminded of how stunning she had been in her coronation gown and how much of a fool he was for saying nothing to her. His cowardice then had been a grievance he’d tried to bury, but seeing her like this dragged it back up to the surface. To him, in this moment, she was as resplendent as when she shone with the light of Trance.

Zidane stood and stared with his mouth hanging open, unable to tear his gaze away. Noticing that _he_ had noticed, Garnet scurried over to the bed and grabbed one of the sheets, throwing it over herself like a hooded cloak. Her cheeks blazed with a heat that was _not_ from the sunburn she had gotten earlier. Dagger hurriedly turned her back towards Zidane and shuffled to one of the portholes, hoping to hide her embarrassment.

“Oh, Gods, Dagger I-- I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to-- I’m sorry, I promise I didn’t mean to barge in like that. I thought you were sleeping, I just wanted to let you know there was some supper saved for you...” _‘Way to go man. Great job just great.’_ A hand reached up and scratched the back of his head as he stood there for a moment, his tail thrashing in annoyance at himself for being a thoughtless buffoon. “I’m really sorry, is there a way I can make it up to you?” Careful footsteps took him closer to her. Her body tensed at his approach, hands drawing the sheet up closer to her face. Zidane frowned.

“Aww, don’t be embarrassed, I’m sorry. I’m an idiot.” Fingers gingerly placed themselves upon her shoulder as he quieted his voice. “I’d never intentionally try to embarrass you, I’m sorry Dagger.” When she didn’t react he frowned, internally cursing his dumbassery once more. “...Alright, I’ll get going then. Just, come on up whenever you want a bite to eat, okay?” Hesitantly, he lifted his hand off of her and turned to leave. Before he could make it very far Dagger reached out and grabbed on to his vest, pulling herself towards him. Her head rested on his back, a hand still clutching the fabric of his clothes.

“Oof-- Hey what’s wrong?” Carefully, he turned around to face her and saw that she was fighting back tears. He panicked. “Hey, hey, don’t worry, it’s alright! Rusty didn’t make dinner tonight so there’s no need to cry!” Dagger sniffled and buried her face further into Zidane’s chest. _‘Aww geez, if Rusty walks in on this I’m a dead man.’_ Clumsily, he placed his hands on her back in what could loosely be described as a ‘hug’. “Hey, don’t worry. I hid your portion from Quina, they won’t steal a bite.” Dagger choked back another sob. _‘Ahh damn... I’m not so good at dealing with this sorta thing.’_ Seeing that his attempts at comedy to diffuse the situation were most assuredly not working, he switched to a more serious tone.

“What’s wrong? Are you mad I barged in here like an ass?” A shake of her head. “Are you crying ‘cause of me?” Another shake. He ventured a guess that perhaps she was just lonely. “Dooo you want me to stay here?” A delayed nod. “Alrighty, that I can do. Just promise me you’ll protect me from the wrath of Rusty if he finds me here.” A sniffle paired with a nod. Zidane gently placed a hand on Dagger’s head, pulling back her makeshift hood. In that moment he recalled the night they first met and the plea she had made to him:

_“I wish to be kidnapped, right away!”_

His lips quirked into a smile at the memory. With a careful touch he smoothed out her messy hair. “Let me go ahead and close the door, alright? Why don’t you go sit down, I promise I’m not leaving.” The Princess gazed up at him, eyes still brimming with tears. That look alone pained him more than any punch to the gut he’d ever received. Dagger did what he requested, pattering over to the bed and hopping atop it. She still kept the sheet wrapped around her, using one of the corners to blot away the tears that still remained.

_‘I don’t even know why I asked him to stay… It’s not like I can tell him my troubles. Or carry out a conversation. This was foolish...’_

Zidane gracelessly plopped beside her, leaning back on his hands. Finally taking a moment to check out the cabin he let out a whistle. “Whewww man, this is way nicer than where I’m bunking. I’ve got a tiny hammock. I had the top one ‘til last night. Apparently I was tickling Blank’s nose with my tail while I was sleeping and he’d had enough of it. Pulled right on it and I yelped, err, I mean I yelled and fell riiiight outta the hammock.” He smiled with fondness even as he cursed Blank. “Damn bastard went and climbed up in my spot while I was trying to get my bearings! Can you believe the nerve of that guy?” A glance over at Dagger showed that she was feeling a little better. The tears had ceased and she was even smiling a bit! The thief knew his company alone wasn’t enough to heal her, but if his stories could steal her away from her pain, even if only for a short while, then he would do it. So he continued on, telling her tales of heists Tantalus had pulled, of misadventures he and the boys had gotten into around Lindblum and Treno. At times she even had a fit of soundless laughter, but her mirth was more apparent in nonverbal ways -- how her eyes lit up, the manner in which she covered her smile with a hand, how her body now shook with giggles instead of sobs.

After a few stories Zidane was beaming, overjoyed to see Dagger actually smile with genuine emotion. The fake smile she plastered on around everyone was easily recognized. He himself was no stranger to wearing one of a similar nature. “Hey!” Excitedly, he turned to face her, hands placing themselves on her shoulders. “I've still gotta show you Choco!” His exclamation was met with mild confusion. “Yeah yeah, I know you’ve met him before but wait til you see him now! I don’t wanna spoil it, but you’ve never seen a chocobo like him, I’ll bet money on it.”

He smirked at her, eyes glinting with devilish intent. “Or, you know, a _kiss_.” Dagger playfully pinched him for that. Zidane’s grin turned even more mischievous as he stroked his chin. “You knoooow… You still owe me a date for winning the Hunt!” Dagger rolled her eyes but smiled at him. She nodded as if to say _“Yes, what of it?”_ He hopped up off the bed, thumb pointing at his chest, other hand on hip. “Well, howsabout an adventure for a date? I’m not just a thief anymore, I’m a full-fledged treasure hunter! Choco and I have found some amazing places with plenty of loot up for grabs. There are a couple of sights you’ve just gotta see!”

It was then that he got down on one knee, taking the Princess’s hands in his and placing a chaste kiss upon it. “Next time we land ashore, _I shall hereby do my best to kidnap you!_ ” Gasping inaudibly she sensed herself flush deeply at his declaration. Her face felt aflame, cheeks hotter than Ifrit’s hellfire. She remembered that same promise he had made the first night they met. A promise he had kept. She knew he would do the same again.

Nodding, she beamed at him, motioning for him to stand up. He rose, but kept Garnet’s hand in his. “I swear, you’ll be amazed!” She cast her face to the side, a shy smile on her face. The Princess was oblivious to the gentle, fond look Zidane was giving her. He was unaware as well.

A glance outside the porthole showed them that the sun had dipped below the horizon, the stars beginning to peek out from the darkening sky. Hesitantly letting go of Garnet’s hand he reached up to scratch his head. “Well, guess I should leave you be since it’s getting pretty late… I had a fun time with you tonight, Dagger.” He smiled at her, azure eyes bright. Garnet looked to him, unwavering, their gazes lingering on each other for a moment before he turned to leave. Waving as he began to waltz away he called out a jaunty, “I’ll see ya tomorr-” but was stopped short by Garnet tugging on his clothes again. She was shaking her head, pulling him back towards her. Quirking a brow he addressed her.

“You… Want me to stay?” Looking up at him she nodded, eyes pleading with him to remain by her side. “I--” How could he say no to such a look? “Alright, but just promise me you won’t tell Rusty. If he finds out we won’t be able to go on our date because he’ll toss me overboard and leave me for dead,” he teased. Garnet held up her pinky finger, expression determined. Zidane let out a laugh and crossed his finger with hers, shaking on their promise. And so he sat back down beside her, delighting her with more stories of his escapades.

After a while he felt his eyelids growing heavy. A glance over at Dagger would show that she was yawning, hands rubbing at her eyes. “What? Am I really that boring?” he inquired, tone playful. She pouted at him, shaking her head adamantly. Another yawn immediately followed. Unknowingly, he smiled affectionately at her. “Alrighty, one more story then I want you to try and catch some shut-eye.” The Princess nodded as she acquiesced to his request. With his last tale spun he hopped up and moved to the pile of cushions at the head of the bed. “Okay, Dagger, time for you to sleep,” he said as he flipped open the blankets, fluffing up the biggest pillow for her to rest her head upon. After a long pause Garnet glumly abandoned her bed sheet cloak and crawled towards him. Zidane averted his eyes, the sight of her moving like that while wearing a nightdress a bit _too_ much for him to handle without ogling her.

He patted the mattress in front of him, motioning for her to get comfy. Clearing his throat he said, “Alright, time to tuck you in!” Garnet slipped underneath the covers, a frown quite visible on her face. “What? Did I poof up the pillow too much?” Shaking her head she beckoned to him. _‘Is she, is she telling me to climb in with her?!’_ With a nervous chuckle Zidane scratched the back of his head, tail nervously swishing to and fro. When he failed to join her Garnet pouted, once more motioning for him to come closer. _‘Yeah, okay, she is...’_ So, kicking off his boots and pocketing his gloves he clambered onto the edge of the bed, lying on his side atop the blankets. The mattress wasn’t very large, due to it usually being reserved for only one occupant. Garnet took up most of it and Zidane attempted to keep a modest amount of space between them. He could only manage less than a foot of separation but Garnet seemed unbothered by this. If she were to sigh he'd surely be able to feel it.

Cracking an impish grin to conceal the giddy flutter in his chest he began to tease her. “Hey, Dagger, I know we’re married and all but--” Dainty fingers lightly pinched his arm. “Oof, hey! I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” Seeing that she still seemed to be in low spirits he reached out, brushing back a section of dark hair that had fallen over her face. “Keep frowning like that and you’ll end up looking like Rusty.” Twisting his face into a caricature of their stern companion he frowned hard, scolding her in an exaggerated impression of the Knight. “PRINCESS! It is improper for you to be alone with such a scoundrel! Who knows what kind of vulgarities he will try to engage you with!!” She pinched him again, but at least now she smiled softly.

“See? That’s much better. I don’t know what I’d do if I had to look at two Rustys,” he joked. Garnet rolled her eyes but the grin persisted. “So, what do you want from me? If you’re hoping for a lullaby I’m going to warn you now, it won’t be pretty. I may be great up on stage but there’s a reason Tantalus doesn’t do musicals. Gods, you should hear Cinna though. Surprisingly, he has the best voice out of all of us. Err, them.” Expression falling, he let out a sigh, rolling onto his back to stare up at the ceiling.

“...Maybe when this is all done I’ll join them again. I’m sure Baku would give me an ass-kicking but I can handle it. I’ve hurt worse. Honestly, Ruby packs more of a wallop when she’s pissed than the Boss does. If she lands a kick on you, oof, you’re gonna ache for days.” Although he spoke of pain his face only held a look of warmth for his old troupe. “Buuuut,” he addressed Garnet directly again, turning over to face her. “I’ve got to take care of some other stuff before even thinking about that. For instance, I’ve gotta take care of you.” A finger lightly tapped her on the nose. “‘Cause weeee’ve got a date,” he remarked playfully.

Garnet reached her finger out and poked his nose back, warmth growing in her cheeks. _‘If only I could tell him how much his company means to me… I shall have to inform him as soon as I am able to speak again.’_ The ability to voice her thoughts… That was something she had given up on, but Zidane’s company brightened her mood considerably. She felt --dare she say it-- hopeful. Hopeful that she would regain her strength and make up for her failures.

Covering a yawn with one hand her other reached out towards Zidane. Delicately, she took his tail in her fingers and brought it up to her cheek, brushing the fur against her face. She had always been curious what it would feel like. His fur was surprisingly soft against her skin -- she wondered if his hair was that soft too. Had she felt any bolder she would have reached out to pet that too.

Zidane felt his face glow with heat as Dagger cradled his tail, caressing her cheek with it. “Uhhm, does that feel nice?” he asked awkwardly. It sure felt nice to him, being able to touch Dagger’s face in such an intimate way. Not that he’d ever actually say that to her. Lips lifting into a tiny smile she nodded at him, the fingers of her free hand reaching across the small distance between them to curl around his ribbon. She thumbed the satin, feeling her fingertips glide across its smooth weave. Zidane stiffened at her second unexpected touch, the voice of Steiner yelling loudly in his head, _“HOW DARE YOU TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE PRINCESS!”_ But, she was the one that had come on to him, so it was fine, right? Right?! Besides, it was hardly an inappropriate action! All she wanted was to feel his ribbon and tail.

So why then, was his heartbeat racing? Feeling almost dizzy he dared not move, fearing he’d snap her out of her reverie. Minutes passed as Garnet’s motions slowed. Dark lashes soon fell to lay flush against her cheeks, her breathing deep and steady. Zidane was still frozen in place, azure hues wide with awe. By the Eidolons she was beautiful! Dim moonlight from outside the ship spilled in from the round windows above the bed, a soft spotlight shining upon the slumbering Princess. Zidane felt his heart swell as he stared. After seeing her so become so sorrowful and despondent it was wonderful to see her lost in the bliss of sleep. He took in every detail of her, etching the image of her form into his mind -- the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she breathed, the spill of richly colored hair over her shoulder. The faint ethereal glow she seemed to radiate while bathing in the pool of moonlight. The muted curve of the smile resting on her face... All were things he wouldn’t forget, all were things he wanted to see again and again.

**Author's Note:**

> Despite loving FF9 for over a decade and creating many headcanons and stories for it I've never published a fic! Zidane and Dagger are my all-time favorite pairing and some of my favorite characters. I hold a lot of love for them and this game and I hope I did them justice in this fic. This originally was a 4am vent piece/character study?? That somehow evolved into shamelessly self-indulgent OTP fluff. I hope reading this brought you some joy.


End file.
